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  • Nathalie Ho

Poems


Ani-con Jitters


See the stalls, cosplayers, merch

all around

and glitter, trash on the ground


Hear “idol” by yoasobi playing on the stage

say to your parents that “you’re fine”

and “what if your costume isn’t good enough” in your mind


Feel the itchiness of the fabric material and the uneasiness

like butterflies in my stomach


Taste the acid-like 

weird fluid in your mouth

rising up like lava in a volcano 


Smell the scent of the convention centre (a bit like the airport and a bit like a plane) 


Knowing your cosplay won’t be good enough

hoping that ten years later you’ll be on that stage 


Wearing a smile on your face and a costume that’s self made

hoping the win will go to your name



Olivia


(warning: the author only means sentiment and not criticism)


The moment I see you I think 

“man, this girl is cool!” 

…but then also

“what if she’s mean?” 

“what if she ignores me??”


So I take the second thought

and tell you “shut up” when you speak

A week later you’re practically surrounded 

even my best friend wants to be…


…to be friends with you (it’s hard)

when everyone needs a timeslot to hang out with you

And now I wonder how

we’ve gone from possible enemies to (best?) friends.


You’re so cool

your clothes and what you like

and what makes up who you are

The way you say the songs I write are good

and your humor too (sorry!)

I found out you’re a good person

and that every character has a backstory.


...but what do you think of me?...

...can we hang out more??...



925


knew i loved you from 

when i saw you for the first time

perfect eyes and a perfect smile

we got together and everyone knew

i didn’t care because i only saw you


but now its all over 

and i want a do over

feels like limerence or is it not?

feels so real but it’s just a thought


i hate you, i love you

i want you, i don’t need you

bought you a silver ring 

said it was your favourite thing

i need you, i don’t want you

i love you but then i hate you


what do I do

what do I do?


i wanna love you again

want you again

i wish i could just know how

without you to love life feels so plain


but now its all over 

and i want a do over

feels like limerence or is it not?

feels so real but it’s just a thought


i hate you, i love you

i want you, i don’t need you

bought you a silver ring 

said it was your favourite thing

i need you, i don’t want you

i love you but then i hate you


what do i do

what do i do?


(perfect eyes, first sight, knew you were a 925)

(heart of mine don’t lie, i knew you were a 925)


but now its all over 

and i want a do over

feels like limerence or is it not?

feels so real but it’s just a thought


i know i’ll see you for the last time

when i picture everything it’ll be fine

perfect eyes and a perfect smile

but we don’t go together

now i care ‘cause i see everyone and not just you. 


A tribute to AoT


It’s over. 

The very last episode. 

Done forever, 

The end of an era,

One that all the fans won’t forget. 


Forever one of my favourites, 

Because of its storyline and 

Complicated lore. 

Their characters 

Never fail to impress me. 


I’ll always remember

The names of all the characters.

And everything that happened. 

And all the ships 

All the best bits. 


Everything’s still here though,

I don’t have to worry about

Netflix taking the show down

Or the fans slowly dropping 

The show. 


Dear Isayama 

Thank you for giving us such a great work. 

We will cherish it

And remember it

For years to come. 


Thank you 



As a Family


Forever as a family, 

We stay strong through 

The darkest of times. 


Together as a family, 

We make light out of 

The pitch-black nights. 


United as a family, 

We make memories with

Each and every other. 


Connected as a family, 

We share our deep bond

As an eternal connection. 


Extended as a family, 

Reaching our roots and branches

Like a tree in the soil and sun. 


Excited as a family, 

For the next get-together.

…When can we see each other again?


In My Head


Floating around like frantic feeding fish

Always acquired avoidable thoughts

Inevitable existing overthinking. 

“What if”, “where” and “why this”

Enough isn’t enough when it’s not enough. 

Head and heart don’t go together. 

At least not in my head. 



An Ode To The Macau GP


an ode to the mgp 


first time walking into the track

nervous, heart leaping

the smell of the fuel 

the sound of the cars in your heart

vibrating in you as they pass by 

drowning out the music from your earbuds

the crowd cheering on, rooting for their favourites

all the commotion when theres a crash

the sight of tyres burning rubber you cant keep

your eyes off the track 

flying colours 

as the marshals wave their flags 

...and you love it. 

“can we come back next year?” 




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