Bingo's Way Home
Bingo stretched and walked into the kitchen, where his owner shouted in a Texan accent “Yo, doggy! Get outta here or I’ll call the Barbeque Animal Control.”
The city that they lived in was called the City of The Great Barbeque of Omni Pork Johnson, which always smelled like cooked pork. It was a city in between Omni Pork Town (which smelled like cream of mushroom soup) and Johnson’s Barbeque Town (which smelled like smoke). Bingo always got confused about which city was which.
“WOOF!” barked Bingo.
He wanted to stay in the kitchen. He had always thought of himself as a human, which was something the owner did not agree with.
“Get out!” screamed the owner.
“Woof woof,” said Bingo, annoyed.
He backed out of the kitchen and into his play area. Bingo started playing in his area with an octopus toy which for some reason had been made with only 5 tentacles. He thought that maybe it had five tentacles because the robots at the factory were rebelling and not making toys correctly. Bingo tried to picture that in his mind but he’d never seen a robot before.
Just then, the owner was talking to his son, who was 117 but still lived with his dad who was 189. If you lived near Omnipork Johnson you get eternal life because Omni Pork Johnson is a wizard who was really into Omnipork and he cast a spell over OPJ Town and the surrounding towns that made everyone live for eternity. That was why real estate was so expensive in the area near OP Johnson.
The towns were named after OPJ because the mayors think he is the best because of the spell.
The owner told his son “Read these books!” The books were: How to Control Your Emotions by Sull Kyman, Will He Make The Train? by May Bee and Betty Wount, Building Castles by Ima King, and Is Someone at The Door? by Isabel Ringing.
“Uh ok,” said the son weirdly.
Bingo had just ripped the head off the octopus toy and was getting bored so he ate his lunch which was omnipork with barbeque sauce. He had already gotten used to this food and did not care.
The son walked upstairs and started playing Fortnite at top volume so Bingo hid in his crate.
The owner walked over to Bingo and said “You’ve been a good doggy. You wanna Omnipork Johnson Apple? Yes, you do!”
Bingo was jumping up and down with excitement. His owner gave him the apple and he ate it in one bite. Bingo started burping. Then he burped again. And again. And again. Uh-oh.
Four days later Bingo was still burping. There was no smell but the noise the burps made was enough to annoy anyone. The owner had to take him to the vet so they could remove the burp chemicals from Bingo.
Afterward, Bingo did not feel well and would not eat. Then he fell asleep.
Bingo awoke to the very, very loud sound of his owner ripping open a cheese packet (it was mozzarella if you were wondering).
Bingo could smell the pungent fragrance of mozzarella cheese.
“Woof! Woof!” said Bingo, clearly wanting to eat it.
“You want it?” asked the owner.
“Woof”, said Bingo.
He was having second thoughts now as he remembered what happened to him after he ate the apple. Something always happened to him when he ate. Either way, Bingo decided he would just eat it.
The owner gave Bingo the cheese. After Bingo ate it, the whole world started to spin right before his eyes. It was spinning as fast as a bullet train. Bingo whimpered.
When the spinning stopped, Bingo found himself suddenly at an open-air market. A person shouted something with the words “Burundi country.”
“Woof, woof, woofdi, woobur?”, Bingo asked himself. That meant: “Wait, I’m in Burundi?”
He was surrounded by little stalls with sacks of corn, broccoli, potatoes, and almost every other vegetable. He did not like vegetables because he was used to omnipork and barbeque sauce.
Bingo could smell the fresh vegetables, which smelled like they were just picked from the soil. Bingo wondered why there were no freezers full of milk and cheese like in OPJ Town. He also wondered why there were no skyscrapers. He felt the dirt under his paws. He lifted one paw and saw all the dirt that was stuck to it.
He wanted to go home. The smells were not what he was used to and he despised them. He kept going, trying to find another dog or someone that would help him.
He could see his shadow stretching out across the dirt, it must be evening. He thought that he should try to find a place to stay for the night. The air was filled with the sounds of bats flying from cave to cave.
Bingo was extremely scared.
As he was walking, he came across a German Shepherd which was tied to a fence. He realized that the dog was a guard dog.
The guard dog asked him to leave. Bingo immediately left, scared that the dog would attack him.
About an hour later he came across a dog shelter. Maybe they would take him in because after all, he was a wild dog in the streets of Burundi. He walked in through the dog door and found himself surrounded by other dogs. He gathered his courage and walked towards the man taking care of the dogs.
The man said: “Hello! You want a place for the night?”.
“Woof!”, said Bingo.
As soon as Bingo was in his new bed, he fell asleep.
Chapter 3-Joe and The Brochure
The next morning, Bingo walked through town and saw several people selling jewelry.
“Woof, woof, woof”, whimpered Bingo. He was feeling more and more homesick.
As he was walking through town, he saw a man in a stall selling brochures that said: “Want to go to Omnipork Town? This is your chance! Go to 63 Burundi Street to hire a teleportation service. Bingo didn’t feel like he had any reason to go back home because his owner didn’t treat him like a human.
The man had a small German Shepherd who, oddly (in Bingo’s opinion) seemed to be acting like he wanted not to be a human. Bingo said, “Whello!”.
The dog did not greet him. The dog’s collar said Bella.
“Woof wooere?”, Bingo asked Bella. That meant “Where is that?”.
Bella did not respond. She was too busy playing fetch with the man.
“Hello?”, asked a dog.
This dog was a whitish-brown color. He walked up to Bingo from behind a bush. “Hello!”, said Bingo. “You like to be human or dog? I am human”.
“Wi Woofant woof goof toof Omnipork Land!”, said the dog, whose worn down collar said, “Joe. Call +8318 838-373-3538 if found”. Under it, there was a symbol that had writing that said something like “OP Johnson.”
“Woof! Omnipork Johnson woof!”, said Bingo, referring to the “OP Johnson” symbol.
“Woof”, said Joe. “Six Tree Barkrundi Seet right there”, said Joe
He had just heard what Bingo said and in response, he said, “Uman? Dogg much betta. You are so unlucky not to be a dog. Uman is so boring.”
“I guess being a dog is better”, Bingo admitted. Because of Joe, he was starting to fit in more with other dogs.
Bingo and Joe walked around for a bit. Bella came running to them. She seemed like a mute dog because she never talked once since they met her, so no one talked to her.
At one point Joe told Bingo that Bella can’t talk because she thinks that if she does she will be punished. Bingo looked extremely puzzled.
Bingo finally decided that they should go to the place on the brochure.
Joe, Bingo, and Bella walked over there. There was a big dragon. He looked so tall and his arms were so strong that they could crush all 3 of them in a blink of an eye. He was as tall as 4 elephants and as big as 6 slightly smaller elephants.
Bingo was feeling like he didn’t fit in. Then he realized that that was because Joe was a dog and he was happy, so couldn’t Bingo also be like that? Bingo decided he wanted to try and not act like a human for once. He realized that just because he was a dog does not mean he can’t be part of a family. His owner treated him like a dog because he is a dog.
Chapter 4 -The Dragon and Farts
The dragon was purple and smelled like sulfur. Bingo was becoming more and more desperate to go home as they arrived at 63 Burundi Street. In his mind he was thinking about all the things the son and the owner were doing without him.
“You want to go home?” the dragon bellowed.
“Grrrr! Woof!”, barked Bingo and Joe in unison.
They were extremely scared of the 5-ton purple flying giant.
“I can take you to Omnipork Town”, said the dragon so loud the market around him swayed and the bananas in the market flew away.
“Ok”, said Bingo.
“Silly humans”, muttered the dragon.
“We are dogs, you silly weird flying thing”, said Joe in response.
Joe and Bingo climbed on the dragon.
“Get off. You must do something for me first”, said the dragon.
“You must go to the capital and tell the president that I want control over the FBI”, said the dragon
“The Federal Bureau of Investigation?”, asked Bingo.
“No. It means Funny Bank of Idioms”, said the dragon. “If I have control over it then I can teleport anywhere, not just OPJ Town”
“Ok”, said Bingo
Joe and Bingo set off into the chaos of the market where people were screaming and bargaining.
A man pulled up to the two dogs. He looked like he was either British or American.
“Oh dear! 2 dogs all by themselves! Wanna go somewhere?”, asked the man.
“Yess! I go to Pesident o Burndee”, said Bingo in his best human-language.
“President of Burundi? All right then!”, said the man.
Once they had arrived at the president’s house, the 2 dogs went inside. The man was waiting outside. Bella had decided to stay with the stallman until the three came back.
Once they got to the president, they started telling the president all about the dragon’s request.
“A purple dagon wat yu tooo make him the leader o Fating Bak Idions”, Bingo tried to explain.
“Ok”, said the president.
“Hello!”, said the man when Bingo and Joe came out of the building.
When they got back to the market, Bella ran up to them.
After they got back to the dragon, they showed him a badge that said: “Burundi’s FBI Leader”.
“Thank you”, said the dragon. “We will go to OPJ Town now”, said the dragon.
As soon as the dragon took off, the trio started barking as they were spinning in circles nonstop. Then they fell asleep.
Bingo awoke to the very, very loud sound of his owner ripping open a cheese packet (it was mozzarella if you were wondering).
“Woof! Woof!”, said Bingo, clearly wanting to eat it.
“You want it?”, asked the owner.
“Woof”, said Bingo
The owner gave Bingo the cheese. Just then, Bingo realized the cheese tasted the same and the noise of his owner ripping open a cheese packet was the same as the cheese from before Burundi, so he must’ve teleported back before the teleportation to Burundi and the second time he ate the cheese he didn’t teleport.
The next day, Bingo stayed in bed as he was feeling sick.
“Aww. You don’t feel well?”, asked the owner.
“Woof”, said Bingo weakly.
The owner took Bingo to the vet to see
The vet said that Bingo just ate too much cheese in a short period.
The next day, Bingo stayed in bed like before and would not eat his breakfast. The owner decided to take him to the vet because Bingo had not eaten in 5 days (including the time in Burundi).
When they came back from the vet, Bingo had one long, nasty fart.
“Ewwww”, screamed the owner.
Right after that Bingo devoured his lunch.
The smell was still there. It smelled like cheese.
“Woof, woof, woof”, said Bingo.
Now Bingo felt like he should not try to be like the others. He was a dog, and he went to Burundi because of cheese! What human would do that?
Joe and Bella had been sleeping ever since they came back because of all the swirling when they were teleported. was sleeping, but when he got teleported, he ended up in the son’s room, so he stayed there.
Bella, on the other hand, found that she could sleep in the closet, so that is what she ended up doing.
Joe eventually told Bingo that the reason why Joe was in Burundi by himself is that OPJ sent him there for a mission to help lost dogs because OPJ had just heard that the cheese was making dogs teleport.
So in the end, Bingo found friends, and even now, Bingo is still there, playing with his friends Joe and Bella, remembering the adventures they had in Burundi. Now Bingo knows that being a dog doesn’t mean he can’t be part of a family. Also, he no longer eats cheese to this day. A few days later, Bella said her first word, which was “Friends”. Everyone was surprised, and Bingo jumped when he heard her say that.
Five years later, the owner had already adopted Bella and Joe. They never went back to their owners because they did not know where the owners were. He adopted them about 1 month after they came back from Burundi. Sadly, Bella had gotten very sick and died. Joe and Bingo were very sad about this, but they had to continue with life. Joe, who was now 9 years old, had been feeling odd for a while. Bingo, on the other hand, was the youngest and was only 7, and he was acting like he was still a puppy. Joe never walked much. He went to the vet every week. Eventually, they found that he was slowly dying from old age. Bingo was so sad that his only friend would be gone in a matter of months. Joe always told Bingo: “If I die, you must continue with life”, but Bingo did not want to. He would be back where he started with no friends at all. Also, Bingo found out that the owner’s name was Omnipork Johnson. Bingo was so surprised that his owner was OPJ that he wagged his tail for days. Also, after the Burundi incident, Bingo still ate cheese. He was scared that it would teleport him but as always, he got over his fears and ate the cheese.